Csy-Lux

Hi Friends, Happy Monday and Labor day! I want to know which other moms have struggled making time to catch up with friends? Being as busy as we are, we can easily grow apart from our circle of friends. Life before having kids for me evolved all around friends and going out but when I had kids, my life changed in a lot of ways. I consider myself fortunate enough to still have my special group of friends that I have known for over 18 years and others I’ve been lucky to have met later in life. Here are 4 tips that I try to follow to continue the friendships in my life.

Be Honest about your availability

You have kids, you run a crazy family schedule, and like me, you might even work a full-time job on top of that. Honestly, even if you’re a stay at home mom, it can be difficult to make time to check in or even have alone time to go out.  It can feel like you don’t have enough hours in a day, and reaching back out to your friends may be left on the back burner if you’re not careful. If you have a pending friend date that hasn’t left the group text going on with your girls, look at your calendar for the upcoming weeks or even months! Pick out a couple of days and times that work for you and be open about your availability. To me, this is much easier than agreeing to a date and then having to cancel because you forgot soccer practice or swim lesson was that day. You are giving out multiple date options as well and letting them also choose which days from those given work best for them! This works the other way around as well. If your friends give you dates that work for them, choose one and commit to it. It is the first step to getting the friends date night out of the group text.

Spend Intentional Time with your friends

If you are only meeting up with your friends once every month or every couple of months, what you do matters! Time is valuable. Choosing something special to do is important to everyone! Whether  it be choosing a nice place to have dinner and drinks or getting together to go wine tasting. Getting that quality time together to catch up on life, laugh, relax, and even plan trips together. This is something that I look forward to so much from our get-togethers.

Be the Friend you want to have

It’s hard to know exactly what everyone is doing or going through at all times, like when we were younger and it’s ok. That is life, but social media, thankfully, has made it easier to keep up with friends. Always remember, “Be the friend you want to have in your life”. Remember birthdays, send them a text every once in a while, be happy for their achievements, their new business, or a new hobby they are starting. Make them smile.  I usually take time at the end of my night when kids are already in bed and settled down to go down all my text/ DM’s and make sure I have replied to them, so I don’t forget them in the next day’s crazy schedule. I always go through my friend stories on social media and react to their stories because “YES girl, I love that you are happy vibes.”   

Give Grace

As much as we want everyone to always be pumped up and ready for coffee dates and dinner dates, sometimes not everyone can be as available. Whether it be a mom friend, just trying to survive like me or a friend who doesn’t have kids and is just busy with life. I am understanding because I have been there sometime in the past. Don’t give them a hard time. Make it clear that you are there for them when they need you and want to get together. I actually have friends who I see maybe once a year, but we still stay in touch daily. You wouldn’t know this from when we see each other because we continue right where we left off the last time we got together. With that said, also pay attention to who doesn’t make an effort to see you or keep in touch. It is ok to let go and outgrow friendships sometimes.

I am by far no perfect friend at all. I continue to do my best to better myself daily. I know, though, that as a mom, it is important for my mental health to be surrounded by my friends.  While they are a small group, they are the BEST group. Hopefully, some of these tips can encourage you to still make time for yourself and your friends. Even better, to maybe reach out to those friends that you haven’t been able to get back to in a while.

Have a good Labor day friends,

Csy❤️